My husband Joshua and I came to the RLI conference in January 2013. We had 2 small children. My last pregnancy had been very difficult, leaving me afraid of being pregnant again. I was so afraid, I asked God to “Give me a break” from having children. Our baby began walking, my cycle returned, and the fear just kept digging in. I was afraid of my children being lost, hurt, abused, or misled if I let them out of my sight. I was afraid of being pregnant, of giving birth, and of having to find a new health care provider. As time went on with no baby conceived, I began to fear that God was taking my request for a break too seriously, or that my health issues with my last pregnancy had rendered me unable to bear more children. Months passed, no baby. Heartbroken, I began begging God to allow me to bear another child. No baby. My husband and I are not unfamiliar with the vein of teaching RLI shares, but I had not “maintained my ground” as a mother. Now the fear had been given such free reign, I couldn’t even think straight.
When we arrived at the conference, an RLI volunteer kindly offered to watch my two children for me so I could focus on the teaching. In fear I refused to allow my two little ones out of my sight. My husband knew that I needed freedom, and pushed me to come anyway, even if we had to bounce the children between us in the pew like ping pong balls. The first few days of the conference Joshua had to put his foot down every evening and say we were going, as the enemy threw all sorts of things at me trying to keep me home. Random headaches, stomach aches, and restless children made me feel sorry for myself that my husband was so mean to make me go! Joshua lovingly persistent and insistent, and each night we made the 1 hour trek. By Wednesday my odd aches and pains would vanish half way through the drive, and I would turn to him and thank him for his tenacity, and apologize for being snappy and moody with him at the beginning of the drive. Praise God that Joshua recognized these attacks as mere smoke and mirrors of the enemy!
At the conference the truth soaked my heart and I began taking back my ground. Midweek I was able to release my “death grip” on my children, and allow the kind ladies of RLI to watch them so I could properly receive ministry. The lady’s sweet grace towards me ministered greatly to me as I began to trust the Lord with my children! By the end of the week, I had been released of so much fear baggage!! I was able to ask the Lord and my husband to forgive me for cursing myself with my words, and for allowing fear to move in so strongly. One week after the conference, our precious 3rd born daughter was conceived. The pregnancy was amazingly easy, with no health issues! After a beautifully simple and uncomplicated birth, we named her Hope Renee, meaning “Hope Reborn” or “Hope Renewed”. My heart is full of thankfulness!!!
I would encourage any Mama who feels trapped and unable to take the time to love herself to take advantage of RLI’s ministry. It’s FREE, your children get loving care, and you are better able to love and care for yourself and your children as a result of clearing your land. We are raising up warriors for the Kingdom, being free in our role as a mother is vital!